IT ALL STARTED WHEN…
I was in Sturgis, SD waiting for my mom, who was in this pretty house that was a place that was going to help her, help us. I was sitting in a blue station wagon that was sun-bleached, long and old. it was my sister and three brothers. it felt like we waited for such a long time. finally, mom came walking out of the pretty house. she didn’t look happy. she looked sad, she was carrying a bunch of papers. she is a woman who can get beat up at night by my dad, but be sure to get up for work the next day and smile, while serving coffee and breakfast as to all. so for her to walk out of a pretty house, of a place that was going to help her; it wasn’t a convincing walk.
she opened up the driver’s side door and got in the car. us kids were smart enough, due to the years of abuse that you read the room. the room in the car said, mom is sad and the hope she had when she got out of the car has been depleted, wiped out.
i asked her, “what’s wrong?” she communicated with tears and anger. short punctuated breath. “well i filled out all of the paperwork, and i will not take any help.” i could feel her shame, the way trying to fill out all of the paperwork by a woman who really has a hard time filling out paperwork. I could tell from her that she wasn’t treated as lovely as she treats those who she is serving coffee to as a waitress. we did not get food stamps, medical or any assistants from what I now know is social services. mom was too proud and that system treated a proud, beat down woman, with 5 kids, just like someone, not one who is a human being.
years later, I graduate from college and serve as a social worker, a child abuse investigator, and a therapist for a decade.
I see how the government has been tasked to take on the job of raising families. that is not their job and they are not good at it - even when some workers are really good people in the system. the truth is, the system is simply not meant to raise families. Can the system help and assist, sure, but raise or be the sole source of a family’s resources - no.
I have also seen first hand, have experienced first hand how people on welfare are looked at and treated. I also see people who are on welfare and they have been generational welfare families. so welfare for them is an entitlement, it is their paycheck
